The Things You Do
by Shakuhachi Jade
Summary: Joey had never had a serious relationship with a guy before, and he wanted to know if Seto had buttons to push just like his previous girlfriends. Puppyshipping, SKxKJ. One-shot. Shonen-ai, some fluff.


[A/N: I used the word "natural" and a fanart of Joey and Seto lying on the floor as inspiration for this one-shot. Rated for **shonen-ai **(aka fluffy boy-on-boy love). I also experimented with parentheses. It's humor. You're supposed to be able to take out every single phrase in the parenthesis and still be able to read the story (but it's not nearly as funny that way). Get it? (You will soon, I'm sure.)]

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**~The Things You Do~**

"Mutt, you realize that you are providing for me a most obnoxious and unwanted distraction…don't you?"

Joey stopped his rowdy laughter (which he could only assume was the 'obnoxious distraction' Seto just mentioned) and rolled over on his back. The source of his amusement—a magazine of unknown origin—was lazily tossed to one side as he stared happily up at the irritated CEO from the floor. Seto really was rather cute when he mercilessly chewed out Joey for one thing or another, because there was _always something_ when it came to the blonde. (Like that one time, in KaibaLand…) Said blonde blinked several times when Seto didn't say anything else, then concealed his amber eyes (and snarky grin) with a hastily raised arm. He feigned being tired, stretched out on the carpet. "Haven't ya realized yet dat if I'm in da same room as you, you're not gonna get any work done?"

"As I've mentioned before, you being here shouldn't be the problem." Seto ran his splayed fingers through his chocolate locks. "If you cannot contain yourself then kindly leave my office immediately. I don't have time for this."

Joey faked a yawn (ignoring Seto's subtle threat completely). Messing with the CEO's…well, _everything_ had become somewhat of a hobby for him. Twisted enjoyment was an understatement.

After Joey had (by the grace of Lady Luck) managed to get the infamously icy Seto Kaiba to warm up to him, it had been a cinch for him to weasel his way around anything the brunette had to say:

"You can't sleep in my room, Mutt," he'd grumbled. Joey (not listening, of course) dashed into the room full-speed ahead and bounded onto the elder Kaiba's bed anyway. And surprisingly, Seto hadn't argued further.

"You can_not_ drive my car, Flea-bag," he'd stated. Joey (not listening, of course) opened the driver's side door and, after he'd adjusted the seat settings to his own height, buckled the seat belt. Seto complained the entire way to KaibaLand that he was going to have Joey's license revoked for auto theft as soon as they got back. However, even after a week of the blonde teen taking control of the wheel when they went out, nothing bad became of his license. Seto had been bluffing each and every time. Either that, or he was bored. Or teasing (likely). Or maybe even flirting… Whatever it was, it was virtually harmless, and Joey knew it.

He'd received an even earlier hint/hunch that Seto wasn't all _that_ cold when Mokuba gave him an interesting heads up. The younger Kaiba started sending him e-mails concerning a certain brother about three months ago. Almost every single one had to do with certain brother's apparent (to Mokuba, anyway) infatuation with a certain blonde. Certain blonde became giddy every time he checked his inbox and saw a message from kc_ with the subject always labeled "Blue Eyes." His own suspicions had arose even before Mokuba gave him proof, but it helped to know that he wasn't just imagining his feelings, and that they were even returned.

For about a month this messaging went on until certain brother discovered younger brother and confronted certain blonde with certain fists. Needless to say, there was much bloodshed. Luckily the bloodshed ended in a hot and heavy make out session that in turn ended with two very confused and embarrassed teenagers sitting at opposite ends of the couch. Lady Luck also had it in for Mokuba Kaiba, and so she decided he was to be the one who should finally tell both boys to suck it up; they liked each other and could either deal with that or sit there forever.

They dealt with it, all right. They dealt with it minute by agonizingly long minute of overdue (rational) conversation regarding misunderstandings, pasts, hurt feelings, admittance, admiration, _ador_ation, and even that forbidden L word (though neither boy said it aloud for another whole month). Afterwards their courtship became a little more, well, _normal_.

One month into their relationship they were already fighting twice or more a day (as new couples are often apt to do). Joey had never had a serious relationship with a guy before, and he wanted to know if Seto had buttons to push just like his previous girlfriends.

Joey soon learned his lesson regarding Seto's buttons. He learned the hard way that if you pushed those buttons hard enough, they would pop right off – like _pop! _No, it was more like _pow!_ _Splat._ And then you're suddenly lying on your back on the kitchen floor staring up at the blurry ceiling wondering why the hell it even _mattered_ that Seto liked turkey better than ham – he just did, damnit. After that incident, Joey began a careful profiling of Seto's buttons and their mysterious ways. He wanted to know why and how they could be pushed so far one way, and then suddenly EXPLODE like a bad bomb.

It only took a few more "love spats" to determine the billionaire's limit. Joey found it much easier to tread only on the shallow waters he knew rather than deep trenches of Seto's secret peeves. His lover was much more amiable (than even _he_ suspected) when Joey annoyed him into submission.

Now, you must be wondering, "How can Seto Kaiba be submissive at _all_?" You'd think he would have destroyed the ability to bend his will a long time ago—and this is _almost_ true. He _almost _had. Anyone who meant nothing to Seto (which was pretty much everyone, 'cept Joey and Mokuba) was powerless against his obstinately tenacious stubbornicity. Hence the flaw lay in the "who." Joey had discovered in his 'buttons experiment' a way to get exactly what he wanted out of the CEO without Seto realizing this was happening. Jou knew that Seto was all-knowing, but he remained confident that _this_ was something he just could not see.

And Joey used this advantage every single time the opportunity arose, like just now for instance. Seto did not tell him to get up. Seto did not tell him to shut up. Seto did not even tell him to leave. (He gave him clear incentive to, though.) Seto simply told him that he was being a nuisance—which was something Joey always was. Seto was the one who told him to come to his office in the first place. If he _knew_ that the blonde kid was gonna play (and he _did_ know, because Seto knows everything) then why request his presence?

He decided to voice his thoughts. "Why'd ya drag my sexy ass in here, then, if ya didn' wanna be distracted?"

The brunette sighed. "Because I knew you'd be bothering my other employees if I didn't keep a leash on you."

Joey growled at this statement, but Seto did not relent. "Why don't you be a good boy and go fetch me today's paper?" he asked, doggy sarcasm dripping from every husky syllable. This made Joey's metaphorical ears fall back in warning.

"_Excuse_ me?" he replied, sitting up and looking quite awake and alert now.

"You heard me: _fetch_, Mutt."

Now, what Joey did not yet realize was that Seto could actually see right through him. A pane of glass. Chlorinated pool water. Jou was (literally) as transparent to him as a sheet of plastic QuickWrap. He'd known since that first day he punched the guy; hell, he'd known since the day they firstmet. And of course he still knew. He only put up with it because he thought Joey's antics somewhat humble his cold exterior (though we all know they don't in the slightest).

Joey was simply not fast enough catch on that Kaiba was doing _exactly_ what Joey thought he didn't know how to do. He was also not fast enough to scramble to his feet in time before Seto already had him pinned to the floor, one arm around the blonde's neck. "Bad dog," he scolded, "too slow. Now I have to reprimand you…"

"You ain't gonna reprimand me nothin'!" Joey screeched. He couldn't see Seto's lips hovering close to his ear, or his free hand inch slowly up Joey's chest. "I'm gonna—"

(Bite.)

"—w-when you—"

(Suck.)

"I…"

(Nibble.)

"IiieeeEEEeee…

(_Bite._)

"Eeeh! STOP DAT!"

Seto smirked. "You like it." He could feel the heat radiating from Joey's face like a hot poker. How amusing.

After only a few more minutes of ear nibbling, Seto began the next phase of his plan. Joey needed some divine punishment for thinking he could get away with being an annoying punk towards his easily agitated boyfriend. (Punishment indeed.)

Let the tickling of the ribs ensue.

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[A/N: Please review; comments are the highlight of my day (Was it funny? Were Joey, Seto, and Mokuba IC? Etc., etc…). And I do not own Yugioh! or the characters (since I totally forgot the disclaimer at the top…).]


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